Co-writer credit to Noxious.
Deep in the offices of Wizards of the Coast…
Executive #1: We need more playable green Commander cards.
Executive #2: Exactly what I was thinking. Green has long suffered from being the worst color in Commander. The only way to fix that is to print something powerful that will give it a boost!
Listening to their superiors, card-designer Jenkins McKenzie takes notes. Sweating profusely, Jenkins knows that green is the best color in all of Commander – way better than stupid blue. However, their bosses seem intent on making green even better. What is Jenkins to do? They shuffle their papers, clear their throat and open their briefcase.
Jenkins: I…I…I, uh, have a card that I’ve been working on. You see, it’s green, but it’s also not green.
Executive #1: What are you going on about, McKenzie? This is serious business.
Executive #2: We don’t have time for your nonsense!
Jenkins walks to the front of the room holding their presentation, placing large pieces of cardboard on an easel covered with a sheet, they tug at their collar. Is it warm in here?
Jenkins: You told me to work on a really, really strong green card, so I’ve done exactly what you wanted. I made sure I developed something that will see a ton of play. I give you, Esika, God of the Tree!
Pulling off the sheet, Esika is revealed.
The executives lean closer and read.
Executive #2: Vigilance… okay… taps for any color… alright… other legendary creatures you control also have vigilance and tap for one mana of any color…
The executives look at each other and nod.
Executive #1: JENKINS IT’S A HIT! We love it. This thing plays so well with other legendary strategies like Kethis, the Hidden Hand or Reki, the History of Kamigawa! You can pack your decks with the strongest, most powerful legends throughout Magic’s history and make them all better!
Executive #2: It’s simple, elegant and most importantly, it has flavor. Book it, Jenkins!
Nervously looking side to side, Jenkins prepares for the real unveiling.
Jenkins: It’s ummm…it’s not just Esika, God of the Tree. It’s uh…let me show you.
Jenkins flips the huge card over to reveal The Prismatic Bridge.
Jenkins: You see, we all know green has *cough* needed help in Commander, so I wanted to design something that would give it even more power. The Prismatic Bridge lets you play creatures with enter-the-battlefield triggers and all sorts of amazing monsters that, when they come into play, make a huge difference – only you get to do it for free. Can you imagine casting a Brainstorm and putting an Avenger of Zendikar on top, only to drop it into play for free? Boy howdy I know I’d like to do that!
One of the executives, who I presume is smoking a cigar, has some of the ash fall directly on their pants as they look on in amazement.
Jenkins: Not just that. Planeswalkers can be put into play too. For a five color deck you’re able to play all the colors of ‘walkers, and can make the most incredible Superfriends build humanly possible! Can you see it? Teferi fighting alongside Chandra with her back against Nissa, who is helping Liliana while she throws Ajani a weapon for the upcoming battle? And it does all of this for only five mana! Why make it just green when we can make it all the colors?
Shocked, the executives have never seen anything like this before. They stand to their feet and begin raucously clapping. Jenkins, who up until this point has been standing in a puddle of sweat, stands up straight and smiles.
Executive #1: McKenzie – you’re going to get a promotion for this.
Executive #2: Straight to the moon, Jenkins.
Finally relaxing, Jenkins smiles. They might have just created the most unique general of all time.