Vintage Oops All Spells! by hodortimebaby

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Vintage is a funny place. It ranges from grindy decks that use Mishra’s Workshop and Sphere of Resistance to make it so you can’t play spells, to control decks that have tons of card draw and removal and of course, the various combo decks that are trying to win as quickly as possible.

In general, it’s much less of a “turn one” format than people think, but rest assured, there are decks that can and will win on their first turn. Today, we’re looking at one of them, the Oops All Spells! deck that’s turned up in every format where Goblin Charbelcher or Balustrade Spy is legal.

Cast Balustrade Spy or Undercity Informer, after which you mill your whole deck (since double-faced land/spells don’t count as lands in deck). Once you’ve flipped over everything, use the Narcomoeba’s that jumped into play to Dread Return a Thassa’s Oracle for the win. Alternately, cast and use Goblin Charbelcher.

This deck is blazing fast, with the full set of Chrome Mox alongside regular Moxes, Dark Ritual and even Lotus Petal and Lion’s Eye Diamond. It can routinely kill turn one with counter backup, thanks to Pact of Negation and Force of Will, and even has Tinker as a backup plan.

These are your “I win” buttons, so you really want to see one in your opening hand.

Your backups are a little pricier, but they can still do work. Note that Tinker can also get Bolas’s Citadel, which will also often lead to a turn one win.

These counters are what makes the deck solid against control, and not just fold to a single Force of Will. You can even use your Forces defensively against other combo decks if needed.

These are what make the deck so fast. With all this fast mana, it’s not hard to generate four mana on turn one, or turn two at the latest.

These “lands” are what make the deck work. The deck only wants eight of them to begin with, but having those eight makes the deck much more consistent than earlier versions which tried to get away with one or two.

You want turn one wins, duh. Seriously though, if your opening hand doesn’t either win turn one or have a path to win turn two, you should likely toss it. This deck doesn’t top-deck well, and it really relies on speed to make up for its weak long game (or midgame even).

Keep. This hand needs mana to cast Belcher or to draw a Balustrade Spy/Informer, but Ancestral Recall gets you there often enough to keep.

Mulligan. Without black mana, this hand doesn’t do anything, even if it’s a single black away from a turn one win (with Pact backup).

Keep. I’m not mulling a turn one Tinker, even if the rest of my hand is garbage. Better hope they don’t have Force of Will!

• It’s better to go for Spy/Informer over Tinker or Belcher because they win much more reliably and for less mana.
• Chain of Vapor can generate mana in a pinch by bouncing multiple of your Moxes.
• Cabal Therapy should almost always name Force of Will when playing against blue decks.

This deck wins or goes home, and that experience can be a pretty fun one. You flip over your top seven cards and see if you win the prize, which is fast at the very least. It’s not always my style, but I appreciate it nonetheless, and if it’s your jam, by all means go for it.